Turning pro in less than 362 days!

Hopefully turning pro in less than six thousand three hundred and eighty nine days!

Tuesday, 18 October 2011

When @rickygervais Forgot to be David Brent

For those of you that don't know, Ricky Gervais has outraged the twitter fraternity by repeated use of the word mong in his tweets, a word which has historically been, and actually is, an offensive word for a Down Syndrome geez/ geezette.

This is disgusting and insensitive, says everyone else. The word don't mean that no more, counters Gervais. 

Now, I don't think that a one man pre-emptive strike is going to desensitise people to a word's usage, however earnest they may be, and certainly not when that man has always historically acted like a right cunt.


Am I missing something here? This is Ricky Gervais we're talking about? Not the Pope? Actually scrap that. Not Cliff Richard? Or Joe Pacquale, or some other inoffensive twat.

Come on, the guy loves getting his metaphorical cock out and chucking his ironic man fat around. 

I remember him on the Eleven O’Clock Show, years back, when he played this bloaty little cock-sure bellend, getting in people’s faces. Presumably playing himself.

Then he has a masterstroke. What if, instead of being myself, I write about, and play, a bloaty little cock-end, and use the ironic twist to spray my jizz over everyone?

Everyone loves it. The guy's a genius.

Then earlier this year, or whenever it was, he presents some awards or other and offends everyone - what a surprise - but give him credit, at least he didn't dress up like David Brent and hide behind it.

I remember watching a reality TV show a while ago, wherein washed up and aspiring stand ups were coached by experts upwards and onwards to the big time - the winner got a Tuesday night gig at the Komedia or something. Anyway, there was this old school guy, he looked like a mouldy potato trying to eat two currents, which were his eyes. He was basically Bernard Manning lite, and his blend of misogyny and casual racism/ twattery didn't go down well with the modern audience.

I know, thought the coach, let's make you into a character - do exactly the same routine, just stagger out to the stage with a pint in an old school pint glass, they'll know it's a send up. With exactly the same jokes he tore the fucking place down.

The mistake Ricky Gervais has made is, he's forgotten his stagger and pint glass, and without that he's not a master of irony offering a piercing insight into human nature, he's a cunt.


  1. I don't usually approve of the word cunt, however, I can think of 3 sentences were the use is acceptable. Ricky Gervais is a cunt. Mariah Carey is a cunt, and the unfortunate being that is Natalie 'perhaps I should blow my nose and also retrieve my head from up my arse' Cassidy is also, a cunt.

  2. BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMM! Hey, I'm not a big fan of the word either, but there are occasions when spider felching shitmuncher just won't cut it.

  3. Oh I dunno, a spider felching shitmuncher is somehow a tad more aggressive than a cunt-maybe that's just because I'm an arachnophobe.

  4. Technically it is, but, as you say, you're an arachnophobe. To spider loving coprophages, that insult's little more than calling them a twit. Wherever in the world you are, however, a cunt's a cunt.

  5. my dog is a coprophage- the cat has to shit up a height to prevent him from eating the cat litter.

  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

  7. He's not alone. I remember as a child I was trying to play football with some friends over the park, but we couldn't, owing to a large dogshit in the middle of our improvised goalmouth. Seconds later my deranged dog 'lucky' comes bounding up out of nowhere, gobbles up the shit and then fucks straight off again. A coprophagic angel, of sorts.

    Other prominent shit eaters allegedly include Frank Bough, Nigella Lawson and @Lord_Voldemort7 from twitter fame.

  8. Ha! Frank Bough! I imagine that Kirsty watserface of Kirsty and Phil fame also is a shit eater, that is, if eating shit also equates to talking shit. If it was an improvised goal why didn't u just improvise it away from the poo? Although a dog that has the ability to scoop its own poop is a bonus. I'd buy one.

  9. To say he's 'playing himself', indicates you know him personally which I'm guessing you don't? Also, David Brent and his stand-up persona which he adopts in some interviews and twitter are not only very different but not necessarily who he is in real life. He's said that in many interviews. I'm not saying he isn't like this in real life as I don't know him, but you are saying he is based on pure guesswork.

  10. Yeah, you're probably right, he's probably nothing like that, although when he started out, it was certainly as himself.

    I suppose my point would be if you act like a cunt, in whatever ironic sense, which ends up being a shield for just about anything, then you cannot be indignant if people end up giving you that label.

    I think this twitter outrage has come about because he is there as himself.

    He's obviously a very clever guy, and seems to have done a lot for the disabled community, but these tweets have crossed the line.

    Maybe beyond the day today/ brass eye approach to highlighting mass hysteria and bandwagons lies a meaningless and self defeating void. People are people and you can't expect rhetoric, however beguiling, to satisfy a subjective knowledge of suffering.