Turning pro in less than 362 days!

Hopefully turning pro in less than six thousand three hundred and eighty nine days!

Saturday, 21 April 2012

Bad Religion

Have you noticed how hard it is to maintain a life in which nothing happens?

I've tried very hard lately to make that happen, but every time something comes along to kick me out of my snug little blanket. Usually, it's been my mum "Garth, get out of your flat and do something, before you go blind". Most of the times she says this I'm not actually masturbating (I hear her coming up the stairs), but I appreciate her sentiment.

Nature, the universe, the interaction of simple systems to make a dynamic matrix of unimaginable complexity is something beyond all our control. Unless your middle name is Yahweh, of course. But then, if you were God, and you understood all this,and you were aware of the hydrogen atoms fusing into helium on a star a billion billion light years away from the Milky Way galaxy, and gold shooting out of a supernova at 30,000m/s somewhere near Andromeda, would you really give a shit when some little twerp on an insignificant planet, called Earth by a fraction of its inhabitants, asked you if you could make sure his mum always wore clogs?

I can understand an elite athlete like Lionel Messi or Vinny Testeverde making the sign of the cross and looking up into the heavens, "Thanks oh Lord, for your blessing again this day." If you've just scored your thirteenth consecutive hattrick, or thrown a 56 yard Hail Mary for the superbowl then you're going to feel special, like the lord has reserved a place for you. You're not going to feel like a statistic, a probability, the acme of the process of natural selection, the fittest to survive that challenge, the culmination of the genotypic and phenotypic expression required for that particular discipline.

Lionel, if you're reading this, which you probably won't want to after losing in El Clasico, you need to give yourself and your trainers a pat on the back. You did it! You had a head start. Genetically you are predisposed towards success, but you still had to earn it. Lots of twats fell by the wayside, maybe a couple of which could've been better than you. Maybe I was one of these, I suspect it every time I recall that through ball against St Leonard's under nines. Bernie Cooper, the little prick, was too busy arguing with their left back to get on the end of it, and my destiny was changed forever. 

When Fabrice Muamba collapsed on the pitch a while back I remember the girlfriend at the time saying 'keep your prayers coming, they're keeping him alive', I couldn't help but think, 'actually, it's a state of the art hospital and some unbelievably dedicated people, working from the moment he collapsed, that have been keeping him alive, and that whilst faith is an admirable trait that can keep people going, it detracts from the real heroes and denies them the credit they deserve.'

I really don't know what we're going to do on a planet inhabited by seven billion when people start to realise that the solace they gain from religion is a lie designed to placate them, that they have been fobbed off with the promise of paradise in the afterlife to appease the fact that they are an inconsequential workhorse in this one.

Two options. Internet and ipods in every house as a like for like replacement, or we conquer complexity and make causality predictive. Maybe we will take that aspect of godhood and give it a human face.

That last sentence didn't really mean anything, but it did sound profound so I left it in.

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