There comes that time in everyone’s life when you realise that you are a complete loser and that everything you have done up to this point has been directionless, pointless and, almost certainly, of no consequence.
Recently this happened to me. I woke up in a nest of books, biscuits and hair and realised, after a quick wank and cup of tea, that this wasn’t the life I was supposed to live. I was supposed to be a great writer, up there with Cervantes, Tolstoy and Dan Brown.
However, I had nothing to show for it, as I’ve never actually sat down and written anything before. Well, maybe a couple of rough screenplays and a novella, a few poems and a handful of short stories, but they weren’t very good, so I’m not counting them. To be honest, I never really tried, just bashed them out really. So, I’ve given myself a year and a day to write a masterpiece, sell it and become a professional writer.
Every week I’m setting myself a fresh challenge, both to motivate me and also to propel my personage into the limelight. A mixture of self motivation and self publicity. I call it self motivicity and I’m going to record a short film on the subject and fire it up onto youtube as soon as. I might not put it on my official channel though, as I want to leave that purely for my anti New World Order agenda, but I’ll let you all know when it’s up.
If anyone wants to suggest any challenges that they think might help me to make it big, then please post them here, and I’ll see what I can do, I may even give you a percentage of the commission!
See you on the flipside!